


Live with that. (Die with that.)

by Lgbtimelord



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, You Have Been Warned, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 04:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lgbtimelord/pseuds/Lgbtimelord
Summary: Thantophobia:(n) the phobia of losing someone you love.





	Live with that. (Die with that.)

Darlene's hand lay still on Dom's chest, her eyes moving between her soft red hair and the curve of her lips, lips that were on hers not long ago, to her close eyes and to her throat. It would be so easy, to move her hands there and press down hard enough so the air would stop flowing in and out. She wouldn't know. Wouldn't realize it was her. Wouldn't realized she had betrayed her again.

The voice echoes in her head.

_You either kill her or he dies._

Him or her.

She couldn't choose. She knew she couldn't yet she had to.

_Him or her._

It was like choosing between the moon and the stars. The skyline would be dull without one of them. Like not having fries when you have a burger or having tea without biscuits. It would be so easy. It would be so easy to grab a knife and slit her throat or press the pillow down on her face so she wouldn't have to see the love on Dom's eyes be replaced by hatred.

Darlene was no stranger to death, she's been surrounded by it for as long as she can remember.

First it was that old dog their parents used to have when she was little, one day she went to pet him but it wouldn't move its tail like it usually did, it just lay there until her dad took him and he never saw him again, they'd only tell her "he's in a better place now". The second time she was close to death was when Angela's mom passed away, the funeral was quiet but the house was loud after it, everyone pretended like nothing had happened when she or Elliot were around and Angela was too sad all the time after it. The third time was the worst, it was her dad's funeral and everyone kept saying " _I'm sorry for your lost_ " or " _everything's gonna be okay_ " but she knew it wouldn't because her mom was already on her fifth glass of wine and Elliot had left the house hours ago. Death was a passing acquaintance after that. A friend that overdosed over here, another one that died in a fight over there, one abortion that one time, Cisco's body laying lifeless in her table of the diner and so on. But she had never known as much as the day she killed Susan Jacobs, she remembers the buzz of the teaser and the sound of the body hitting the water and it makes her feel nothing so she wonders if killing Dom would be the same. She knows it won't. The only thing she ever felt for Susan was hate, what she feels for Dom is too deep, too unknown to her to even describe.

So she moves her hand from Dom's chess and turns around. Dom moves along with her on her sleep state and puts her arms around her. She'll think of something. They'll figure it out together.

 _Him or her_ rings in her mind.

The weeks pass and she knows she can't put it off for much longer. One day the pictures of Elliot in walking down the street or entering his apartment won't be enough and instead his hoody with blood stains will appear in a box at her door, to remind her of what she has to do. She knows she can't keep giving Whiterose the lame excuses she's been giving:

 _Dom is in the middle of an investigation it'll be suspicious if I kill her now._ She's not but the Dark Army doesn't know that.

 _Elliot is still useful to you, he still knows about Tyrell Wellick._ He doesn't. They haven't talk in months.

 _Let me try and get her on our side,maybe I can change her mind._ She knows she won't. Dom's morals are way too high and her stubbornness too strong.

The truth is, she's running out of time and she has no idea how to not get the two people she loves the most killed. The longer time passes the scareder she gets and her ideas and excuses get more and more absurd.

It's Dom the one who takes the choice from her. She notices her sneaking out and her more recurrents anxious looks, and follows her to her meeting with Whiterose. Her last meeting with Whiterose, not that she knew that at the time. The look of betrayal and disappointment on her face broke her heart in half and she knew in that moment that all the work she'd done to put their relationship back together has been lost again.

She takes the choice from her. She asks to speak alone with Whiterose and the two men behind her take her outside the room.

She anxiously wait, minutes pass and then, she hears a gunshot.

Whiterose leaves the room, tells her it's done.

Dom lays inside the room, a gunshot wound in her head, a pool of blood around her body.

Darlene falls to the floor and cries.

**Author's Note:**

> To the Domlene Sad AnalCult bc I love them


End file.
